The potty problem

Being a mother is joy and being a member of mothers' group is fun.  You get to hear a lot of things  about babies: wonder stories,  blunder stories, worries, humour scoops and even poops.

My  group is rather a heterogenous mix of women with babies of different ages,  expecting mothers, expecting to expect women and free birds with no experience but a lot of advices. Our topics of discussion included anything and everything under the sun.

One day, as usual we hangout and there was a friend of mine with a new worry.  Her 3 month old's potty time is two days over due.  You can't blame a mother if she freaks out when her baby don't poop for two consecutive days.  It's natural,  how can a baby not poop in two days,  right? My baby,  was an expert in the matter.  He could do it anywhere,  anytime.  I have even ran out of wipes in a day. " Why can't my baby do such a natural thing?"  "Is milk not enough?" " Is he  unwell?" "Constipation?,"  "dehydration?"  discussions caught fire scaring the shit out of her.  The best of advice being pay a visit to the doctor,  the topic was very important to the group.

Everyone had some or the other doubts about their baby's stool.  One girls baby's waste product was still greenish another's was still watery, and so the discussion went on from one issue to the other.

As it progressed, a group member form another part of the world decided to tell her story. And no doctor could solve it for her.  She was in a far off land enjoying her holidays and it was only the second day of her visit to this beautiful best she had to face her problem. She was in the bathroom for her routine when she figured out that there was no tap or bidet shower next   to her to clean herself after 'the task'.  A roll of tissue papers was all that was there.  (probably,  only an Indian would understand the irony of the situation).

Our sincere sympathies to her.

Disclaimer: As much as it sounds weird, the topic is important to mothers of young babies.  Doctors says that the texture,  colour and appearance of baby's stool  can reveal a lot about their health condition.  Being a first time mother,  there's lots to look into,  think about and consider as you wipe clean your baby's bums. Disturbing ideas of any kind was unintentional.  

പാഴ്സൽ വന്ന അടി.

പകൽ അങ്ങിനെ കാഞ്ഞു നിൽക്കുന്ന സമയം. അറ്റകുറ്റ വീട്ടുപണികളൊക്കെ ഒതുക്കി കുഞ്ഞിനെ കളിപ്പിച്ചിരിക്കവേ കേട്ടു ഒരു മണിനാദം.നാട്ടിൽ നിന്നും  അമ്മയാണ്  വിളിക്കുന്നത്. സ്ഥിരം കത്തി വെപ്പിനു തന്നെയാകണം വിളി.

അങ്ങിനെ ഒന്നും രണ്ടും പറഞ്ഞു്  ചർച്ച ചെയ്ത് , കുഞ്ഞിനെ  കബളിപ്പിച്ച്,  നേരം പോയത് അറിഞ്ഞില്ല. പെട്ടെന്നാണ്  മുൻവശത്തെ കതകിൽ ഒരു കൊട്ടുകേട്ടത്. ഫോൺ ലൗഡ് സ്പീക്കറിൽ ഇട്ടു വർത്തമാനം പറഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ടു തന്നെ പോയി തുറന്നു.   Amazon. com  നിന്നും ഒരു വലിയ പൊതി!

കുഞ്ഞിന്റെ ഡയപ്പർ ആണു. ഓൺലൈൻ' ഷോപ്പിങ്ങ് വന്നതിൽ പിന്നെ സൗകര്യമായി. വീട്ടിൽ ഇരുന്നു വിരൽ തൊട്ടാൽ വേണ്ടതെല്ലാം എത്തിക്കാനാവും. മുഖം കറുപ്പിച്ചു നിന്ന ഒരു പാവം മനുഷ്യനാണു സാധനങ്ങൾ ഇന്നു കൊണ്ടുവന്നത്. കൊടുത്ത ചിരി മടക്കി തരാതെ അയാൾ തിരിച്ചു നടന്നു. നടത്തം അല്പം സ്പീഡിൽ ആണു. പാവം തിരക്കായിരിക്കും, ഞാൻ വിചാരിച്ചു. വാതിൽ അടച്ചു തിരികെ നടക്കാനൊരുങ്ങുമ്പോൾ അതാ വരുന്നു കണവന്റെ വിളി.

"പാഴ്സൽ വല്ലതും വന്നോ?"
എങ്ങിനെ അറിഞ്ഞു, അയാൾ ഇപ്പൊ വന്നു പോയേ ഉള്ളു, ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു.
"ഇപ്പൊ അല്ലാ, മണിക്കൂർ ഒന്നായി അയാൾ വാതുക്കൽ കാത്തുനിൽക്കുന്നു. ഞാൻ എത്ര ഫോൺ വിളിച്ചു നോക്കി. എവിടെ ആയിരുന്നു? ഒരു മണിക്കൂറോളം ഫോൺ എൻഗേജ്ഡ് ആയിരുന്നല്ലോ?"

ഡോർ ബെൽ  കേടായിട്ടു ഇശ്ശി ആയി. നന്നാക്കാൻ ആളെ വിളിക്കാൻ എന്നും മറക്കും. അതാണു പാവം അയാൾ വന്നപ്പോൾ അറിയാഞ്ഞത്. ഫോണിൽ കൂത്തിയിരിക്ക കൂടി ആയപ്പോ പൂർത്തിയായി. കോൾ വെയിറ്റിങ്ങ് സെറ്റിങ്ങ്സ് ഓഫ് ആയിരുന്ന കാര്യം എനിക്കറിയില്ലായിരുന്നു.

എന്തായാലും വരാനുള്ള പാഴ്സൽ വന്നു , കിട്ടാനുള്ള ചീത്ത വിളിയും കിട്ടി. സന്തോഷം , ഇനി ഞാൻ പോയി കുഞ്ഞിനെ കുളിപ്പിക്കട്ടെ.........

ദുഃഖ വെള്ളി

ആ വർഷം ദുഃഖ വെള്ളി മാർച്ചിൽ ആയിരുന്നില്ല, ഒക്ടോബറിൽ ആയിരുന്നു.


സ്കൂളിൽ പഠിക്കുന്ന കാലം. അഴിമതിയും കോഴയും ഒന്നും ജീവിത പ്രശ്നമല്ലാത്ത ഒരു പക്ഷെ കേട്ടാൽ പോലും മനസിലാവാത്ത പ്രായത്തിൽ നല്ലവരായ സർക്കാർ ഇടക്ക് ബന്ദ്, ഹർത്താൽ രൂപത്തിൽ വിദ്യാർത്ഥികൾക്ക് അവധി ദിവസം സമ്മാനിക്കുമായിരുന്നു. ആ ഒക്ടോബറിൽ സംഭവിച്ചതും അതു തന്നെ. ഒക്ടോബർ ഒന്നിന് സ്കൂളിനെ ബാധിച്ച ഒരു ബന്ദ്.


ബുധനാഴ്ച അവധി, വ്യാഴാച അവധി (ഒക്ടോബർ 2, ഗാന്ധി ജയന്തി), ശനിയും ഞായറും സ്വാഭാവികമായും അവധി. ഇതിനിടയിൽ വില്ലനായി ഒരു വെള്ളി. രാവിലെ എഴുന്നേറ്റു സ്കൂളിൽ പോയി ക്ലാസ്സ് മുറിയിൽ കുത്തിയിരിക്കേണ്ട ഒരു വെള്ളി. അതായിരുന്നു യഥാർത്ഥ ദുഃഖ വെള്ളി 

One little love story - part 7

The balancing act
These days young parents like us look forward to balancing work and life at once.  I,  at times,  regret being a stay-at-home mother though it was my decision to not take up a permanent job till my son turns two.
I regret it because I am financially depended and is compelled by my conscious to draw the limit line for expense everytime I come across eye-catchy things in e-commerce sites. I cannot thank my dear friends enough to help me celebrate and surprise my hubby's birthday and not let me worry about the expense.
To be economically independent, to not restrict myself (and my hubby) from purchasing our 'favourite nothings',  to stop ourself from bleaving that materialistic life is the ultimate sin,  I needed a job.
Part time/freelancing was an easy option except that I found little time to spare from my busy schedule (don't bother breaking your head over wondering what makes me so busy,  trust me when I say,  I have no clue either).
So financial stability on a personal ground was tough.  I respect my mother, friends and everyone who chose to balance work and personal life.  I salute the majority of you who aced it.  But,  reality is,  balancing act is not my cup of tea.  I failed at it even before I tried.  I'm miserable.
I know I will be judged.  For being dependent, as lazy,  as stubborn,  but I know no one is better to take care of my son than me. The only thing that makes me happy is I'm with my baby 24/7. I realise this is the only time he will demand my presence so much,  this is the only time he will want me with him throughout the day, this is the only time I can feed, nap with him, dress him up the way I want and he will not protest. THIS TIME is priceless.  I cannot buy it online,  I cannot borrow it,  I cannot relive it ever again. This us the only time.
So,  to the mothers like me, who chose to (or were forced to) stay at home with our little ones, congratulations!  You are doing the right thing for yourself and for your baby.  Not having to do that balancing act never makes you any smaller.  You are doing enough and more. Managing household and handling a baby is work - only that you don't get paid in cash (unless you are doing it for someone else).
Your task is to maintain a sweet happy family and a healthy baby (if anyone feels it's less important or easy, don't bother marrying or reproducing).  You are responsible for your little ones growth. Babys medical reports is your report card. With every progress your baby makes,  you go a level up, and everytime s/he smiles,  just know that you are the reason behind it.
Love yourself,  be happy and stay healthy. 

One little love story - part 6

A confession

Motherhood -  one of world's wonderful feeling.
Yeah,  I disagree to disagree to disagree...

At 5 years of age,  I badly wanted to grow up and be on my own. At age 15, I wanted to just finish off my hectic school days and move into college and have fun.  At 20, over obsessed by career dream I wanted to equip myself to climb up the hills and mountains of corporate industry.  Once married,  I wanted a kid.  Now,  I want an eight hour uninterrupted sleep.  Sigh!

No,  I'm not talking about the changing dreams or phases in life,  my point was motherhood is not easy (at least for me) as it appears from outside.  Many thinks,  after all its a baby,  what is it gonna do?  U give him some milk and put him to sleep then u have all the time in the world. Oh yeah?!  Try having one of your own before you judge.

I'm gonna be honest here,  there are many mother's and parents who sympathise,  "oh,  poor you. How are you managing?" .  "why don't you get a nanny to look after your kid?".  I don't like that either.  It's my baby,  my responsibility. I struggle to keep myself calm when I have to hand my son over to our people even for a while so then how am I to accept a nanny (total stranger) to handle him?
Frankly, I dnt know how I'm managing each day.  I some tyms fail to get breakfast ready before my husband leaves to work.  Sometimes the house is a mess when he return.  Some tyms I give up trying to console my crying child.  Sometimes I find it difficult to get myself together.  All this,  within the four walls of my house.  And outside I'm a sweet inexperienced mother trying my level best at the tasks.  These are my confessions.  My inlaws are not going to be happy about the first point.  My ever calm husband let's me off the hook everytime at the second point confessed here.  My mother is going to fume at every single word mentioned above.  I know and I'm not going to bail me out of anything for I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes,  I learn and sometimes I take a few more lessons at the same mistakes.  I don't promise to be perfect from tomorrow.  I know some of you are perfect already,  but I'm not you.  I'm not supposed to be perfect.  I'm supposed to be me.
So I embrace the little imperfections and move on.  Because,  after going through a troublesome episode of my daily life,  when I watch my little ones face,  up close while feeding him, his deep dark eyes looks into mine revealing nothing less than his love for me.  When his busy lips take a break to peacefully smile at me,  the whole world simply dissolves into thin air and only his charming face remains.  That moment is worth living for.  That moment completes me as a mother,  as me.

One little love story - part 5

A sweet something

I'm a totally busy mother.  So busy that I even don't have the time to look at the mirror and place a red spot of kumkum (bindhi) between my overgrown,  uneven eyebrows. I must admit  that I am that one rare person who cannot imagine a life without a bindhi,  a dab of kumkum on my forehead even if I'm clad in jeans and casual tops or dressed for a perfect corporate business moment.  After moving in to our tiny home at Chennai (with the baby), I hardly noticed my dark circles or cared to comb my hair.   Until that day  -  the day I decided to take two minutes out of my busy schedule and actually do a minimal makeup and make myself feel good.
After a quick bath as usual,  I put on a house coat and digged out my kaajal and sindoor from the abandoned pouch in my shelf.  Keeping an eye on my little one,  wide awake and watching my movements,  who could change the mood of the moment in a fraction of a second,  I turn towards the mirror.  One small dot of sindoor for bindhi,  some on my forehead and a thin spread of kaajal under my eyes,  I'm done.  I take a moment to admire the new me.
It was then I noticed a huge mark just under my chin. Immediately I check it up.  Looks like burnt skin but it does not hurt me a bit. Surprised, I examine it even more.  The size of it (as big as an unniappam, I would say) made me wonder even more.  What the hell is this?  I have no memory of burning myself in the recent past, how could this have happened?!
Knowing my mother,  I didn't have the guts to ring her up and check for the possibilities of such miracles.  I decided to approach my friends group (in WhatsApp).  My gals,  my support,  my precious gems,  my Navratnas, I come to you seeking help!
After listening to my explanation,  each of us thought about the possibilities of different reasons until one came up with the suggestion of love bite.  You can imagine me blushing right now but you are wrong.  I told you already,  I'm a busy mother. I dnt have time for romance!
After a few minutes of discussion, it lit like a hundred watt bulb in my brain.  Of course it is love bite,  but not from my hus.  If you had paid attention, I had told you about my baby's new habit of mouthing my chin?  It's from him! A sweetsomthing ,  for me to remember forever.

A relief and joy it was to realise it and an absolute bliss to flaunt it for a while.

One little love story - part 4

Yasoda sees the universe in kanha's mouth!

My little one,  dearly called Kannan by a selected few, was only 4 months and 2 weeks when he experienced common cold and cough, due to the change in climate (we thought). He had turned more cranky and demanding in a couple of days and as loving, caring parents (totally new at the job and still figuring out the tasks) we gave in each time when he turned stubborn.  After all he was only four and a half months — too young to understand anything at all.  One of his new habit was putting anything he found straight into his mouth.  If he was deprived of toys,  his five figures were chewed upon.  He used to mouth my chin each time I rocked him on my shoulders.

One evening I and my hubby,  sat on the bed along with our fussy child. He had been cranky for quiet a while that day and his new found soother -his father's finger was put into use. After a moment,  my hubby cried loudly out of pain.  Puzzled,  I looked at him only to find an even more confused expression on his face.  I couldn't imagine what was so painful about it until I decided to check my little ones gums.
I opened his mouth and we were left speechless .  He was teething already and it wasn't the normal incisors even!  His cuspid on the left bottom jaw has already surfaced.  Like an iceberg,  only the tip was out, yet it was sharp enough to hurt.

We knew it was time for a visit to the doctor  as what we saw in his mouth had surprised us beyond words (though we Googled it up and found it was not unsual). At the doctor's,  kannan was well behaved and the general checkup signalled normal and healthy developments.  The doctor checked his mouth with a popsicle stick (which my son evidently disapproved by making funny faces) and revealed yet another surprise.

There were not one but three teeth on their way.  Two cuspids and a pre-molar on his lower jaw. The doctor ensured us that there was nothing to worry and it was normal to find such irregularities with the milk teeth. The permanent teeth will however appear normally.
Relieved,  we went back home with a few meds for his cold and cough.

The next is line was a very sweet something that I will remember for life...

One little love story - part 3

The cliché

At the break of dawn,  my alarm goes off and I eagerly tie a high pony with the excitement of finally getting to do what I have been missing for a year now.  The perfect patnee with a schedule for everything.  After I left to native for my first delivery, I had missed being a responsible woman of the house,  as I was pampered to the core by the overenthusiastic grandparents of my kid.

A year ago,  we were in a different country and the lifestyle we had there was pretty calm but organised.  I was always on time.  Wake up,  cook breakfast,  send my husband off to work by 7.30 am and then I had all the time for everything.  My experiments  with paint,  craft and even cooking kept me zealous  on most of the day.

Coming back to the present,  I had to 'stealth move' out of the bed so as to ensure my baby was not disturbed. After a quick face & mouth wash I went to the kitchen and began my task.  Five minutes would have passed before I heard my son cry.  He has sensed that I was not around.  My poor hus,  first experience at handling a crying baby,  looked all confused and worried.  He held our son in his arms as if to figure out the stop button. Funny as it may sound,  I almost reminded him it was not an alarm clock. It took some time to pacify my kid and put him back to bed. Needless to say that the morning was a mess with the repeated episode of baby waking up and me running back and forth the kitchen,  I realised  my idea of an ideal schedule popped like a soap bubble.

A few days went by, and all in the same manner. I and my hus started feeling more and more tired.  Waking up early morning had become a herculean task for both of us because we were sleep deprived at  day as well as at night.  I even had a day when my husband read to me about the importance of sleep and the effects of sleeplessness.  Then again we could do nothing about it other than brushing off the thought of 8 hours sleep from our brains.

As life slowly progressed,  (I mean really slowly,  in about 2 weeks)  my son had developed news habits which,  most of the time, left us puzzled.  Little did we know he was up for a surprise.